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注：修改版！！！！
鳴謝某雪替我 check grammar
（親）愛死你了~~~~>3
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
別懷疑，這真的是學校的英文 assignment XD
而且，題目也是校方訂的，不是我憑喜好亂作的喔ˇ（毆）
雖然我是把它加倍再加倍地惡搞化了（肯）
原本的題目有很多個，有 love story 、 ghost story 、 adventure …等等，
而我就選了這個（不是知是不是 love story 的） love story XDD
是這樣的↓：
"Honey, don’t walk so fast. Wait for me! Honey, honey!" Rodney was walking along Nathan Road towards the Cultural Centre when he heard the shrill call behind him. Looking up, he discovered that all the people around were staring behind him with a shocked ex
Her lips were crimson and her mascara was green. Her face was painted like that of a geisha and her hair was like a bird’s nest that had not been cleaned for months. She was wearing rags of non-describable colours and a pair of orange high heels. Before Rodney knew what was going on, her arms were around him and she was crying on his shoulder.
"Honey, where have you been? I've been looking for you for years? I miss you so much. Oh! How could you?" She stopped to wipe her tears with the back of her filthy hand. "I’ll never let you go again, dear Prince Edward. And oh! Take a look at our cute little baby. Isn’t he cute?" She turned and pulled out a ragged Cabbage Patch doll from her dowdy backpack. "Let’s go home. Let’s go home and feed our baby. Come on." She started dragging Rodney towards the direction of Kowloon Park.
"Hey, let go of me. I don't know you!!" Rodney struggled hard and he was as red as a tomato because he realized that people were gathering around them, sniggering. "Let me go, you crazy woman!"
What is the story of this crazy woman? What had happened between her and "Prince Edward"? What had caused her state of mind? Write a story about her.
以下……就是我的作品囉ˇ
裏面連個「囧」字都出了喔（真的，雖然是英文 XDD ）
大家不看不行！！！ XDDDDD （用力指）
請順道幫我 check 錯字 + grammar ，謝~~（大爆）
（我有預感……這篇東東大概會被當掉 XDDDD ）
"Oh my God, he's awesome! I think I'm falling in love..."
"Hey, let go of me. I don't know you!!" Rodney struggled hard and he was as red as a tomato because he realized that people were gathering around them, sniggering. "Let me go, you crazy woman!"
What is the story of this crazy woman? What had happened between her and "Prince Edward"? What had caused her state of mind? Write a story about her.
以下……就是我的作品囉ˇ
裏面連個「囧」字都出了喔（真的，雖然是英文 XDD ）
大家不看不行！！！ XDDDDD （用力指）
請順道幫我 check 錯字 + grammar ，謝~~（大爆）
（我有預感……這篇東東大概會被當掉 XDDDD ）
"Oh my God, he's awesome! I think I'm falling in love..."
This was the first thing that came to Messy's mind when she first saw Edward. She was sitting on the bench and watching an inter-class football competition. Edward was the leader of the neighboring class, who performed absolutely outstanding. Hard tackles, powerful kicks, fired shots...his enemies could do nothing but helplessly watching the ball blazed into the net. He smirked triumphantly with hands waving, celebrated with his fellows. Messy's class lost.
But Messy didn't care. She cared much more about Edward. Actually he was quite well known in school as his father was a wealthy businessman. Such a background was where his nickname, "Prince Edward" came from. He had a pretty face and a brawny body. A warm smile was always kept on his face – lips parted slightly, revealing his shiny white teeth. He looked especially attractive as he was running and delivering in the field, skin glistening with sweat like diamond-dust – energetic and graceful. Gorgeous.
Messy couldn't take her eyes off him. Love at first sight. She missed him when she didn’t see him. He possessed her mind, her thought and her heart every single moment. She just couldn’t kick him out of her mind. He was the best. Every thing he said and done was right. He was everything in her fantastic world. She was mad about him.
“I wanted him!” She shouted in her heart. That was no surprise she started approaching him via various means. She sent him love letters and sweet texts frequently, gave him lovely hand-made gifts and sometimes even homemade lunch packs. Time went by. She didn’t get any responses from Edward. “Does he notice me? He must know I’m right here waiting for him.” But soon she knew the reason. There were many girls surrounding Edward and flirting with him. She hated those bitches!
Messy’s couldn't hide her frustration to those girls. She threw dead glare to them as if she wanted to kill them. Once the girls came close to Edward, she would howl at them or even drag them away. Although Edward seemed alienating her, Messy continued this kind of behavior. A few girls had received threatening messages from Messy, which were written in big scarlet letters.
“Honey! I’m here!” One day, Messy was waiting for Edward in front of his luxurious house in the classy area in Tsim Sha Tsui. Edward stopped abruptly like he had got an electronic shock. He pretended hadn't seen and heard her. But would Messy give up that way? She chased after Edward, “Don’t walk so fast…wait for me! Where are you going? Hey…”
“Stop!” Edward turned and interrupted her roughly. “What are you expecting to have on me? You keep haunting me like a desperate ghost! Please let me go!!”
This didn’t work. Messy stared at Edward with her big, crystal-cleared eyes, which seemed storing an ocean of tears. “Don’t you love me? Everything I do is for you...I am going to be good for you…” She dragged Edward’s arm, begging as innocent as a little girl. “Come on, honey, we’re meant together.”
“Shut up! That’s enough! I don’t love you. Instead, I hate you! Because of you my friends walk away from me, people look askew at and jape me. I’m scared! Cause I don’t know what I’ll get from you at the next moment!” Edward yelled annoyingly – it wasn’t Edward-like you know. He had had more than enough. He couldn’t bear it anymore or he would be driven crazy! “If you do love me, please get the hell out of me!! Now!! I don’t need your love!!”
Messy’s eyes still locked on him. She thought for a while before saying, “You…you look so cool! Darling!”
OH GODDESS, she was quivering in excitement! Edward's face was twisted into a “囧”-shape like the man in the famous masterpiece, "The Scream". God please tell me, how can I banish this woman in front of me! He wrapped his head into his arms.
“Listen!! I…you…” Edward pointed a finger to Messy and snapped at her hysterically, “I DO have a girlfriend! She’s the only one in my heart! So stop your daydreaming, now!”
“This can’t be true, darling!” Messy shook her head with speculation. “Who’s it? Betty? Kitty? Mary? They’re so ugly and stupid! They don’t suit you!” She protested.
“Not them! You haven’t met it before!” Although Edward had emphasized this point repeatedly, Messy didn’t believe it unless she really witnessed that guy. Edward had no choice but took action. Suddenly, he grabbed a stranger beside and exclaimed, “Here it is! My lover! It’s so unbelievable to meet you here! This must be planned by God!”
“This…this is your lover?” Messy stumbled, “But…it…it’s a boy!”
Edward turned his head to “ his lover” and discovered that…oh, prat…it was a boy. He could not turn back the clock though. The most important thing at this moment was to sweep Messy away! Go ahead, Edward! “Yeh…I’m gay! Satisfied now?”
He breathed fast after bursting passionately. Messy was too shocked that her brain halted functioning, with body freezing. The guy in Edward’s embrace could only ask confusedly, “what’s goin’ on?” Then tugged away by him.
“No…darling, don’t leave…I need you…” Since then, Messy became more and more neurotic. She used to think of attempting sexual reassignment surgery but failed. At the same time Edward moved overseas without informing her. She couldn’t find him though she kept on waiting in front of his house.
Later, she was sent to a mental hospital. After years of medical and psychological treatment, she retuned to the society. She still had to take medicine to control her illnesses. However, in some days, she would particularly lose in total. She would rumble on the streets in Tsim Sha Tsui, searching for her Prince. If you are walking somewhere in Tsim Sha Tsui, don’t be surprised when a terrified middle-aged woman catches you and calls you “honey” – maybe she is the poor Messy.
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